St. Patrick’s Day Survival Guide
A girl sits on the curb crying into her cellphone, complete with a shattered screen and Hello Kitty charm. Another consoling her, rubbing her back and repeating, “It’s okay, you can do better than him.” Both are adorned in green beads and knee socks.
A young man sings a Drake song in the background, “Started from the bottom now we HERE…” His arms hanging desperately around the necks of his slightly more sober friends, as if they were life preservers. Their shuffling feet scatter and crunch the plastic cups that litter the ground. Somewhere a siren wails…
Bear witness to the biggest day of public intoxication in Chicago: St. Patrick’s Day. Bask in all of its glory. By now you have been e-dragged into a social event. Most likely a Facebook invite named “IRISH PRIDE IN THE CHI 2013″ or “Kiss me I’m Drunk, and Irish 2013.” Your girlfriend RSVP’d yes and, being the good boyfriend that you are, you agreed to escort her through the madness. READ MORE

